Sitting here in the middle of the night, I am facing one of the toughest decisions of my young life. This is life-altering. A mere choice will now determine whether I am happy or unhappy, in control or out of it, informed or uninformed, excited or bored to death.

It is imperative I make the right decision, because my future depends on it. There are no shrinks for this. No guidance counsellors can help me here. I literally have to make this decision all on my own.

Do I read "The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn," or wait for the movie?

If you only knew how painful this is, and on some level, I can assume some of you can relate. Six-hundred-twenty-nine pages are within my reach; in fact, the book is sitting there beside my lappy and the soft cover is teasing me as it lightly bounces off the first page.

I was never one for "The Twilight Saga." Vampire flicks I am very much fond of, so "Twilight" should have been one of my must-sees, but it was not, and that is as plainly as I can put it. It was one night while travelling home from Port-of-Spain that I was introduced to Bella and Edward. There are screens in the maxis now, much to my delight. Beats a boring trip to the East.

A hopeless romantic I've been all these years, so I was easily caught up in the tension between the doomed Edward Cullen and the new girl, Bella Swan.

It did not take me an entire minute to figure out that this film was less about vampires and their quest to be understood and more about the love story between the two main protagonists.

There was something in the way Edward looked at Bella that tugged at the heart strings a little bit. And by golly, I've got it! I have unlocked the mystery of the craze over this series — the real point behind why girls go gaga for "The Twilight Saga."
This is it: I would kill to have someone look at me the way Edward looks at Bella.

It's the way his topaz eyes peer into Bella's soul — you know — because she has one. The way he looks at her from across the room. The way he looks at her as though he waits to listen to her every breath.

Every girl wishes there would be a guy like Edward who would come along and sweep them off their feet, and of course, drive them to school in a Volvo.

Whether you females want to admit this or not, that's what you and females across the globe have always wanted: powerful men.

And since power was never ours, according to many a religious text, we seek to align ourselves with the powerful men who could make things happen.

Men who could take care of us and make us feel safe and kill anyone who tries to hurt us, much like how Edward wants to rip the heads off the scumbags who try to hurt Bella.

That's the second thing all females want next to power: security, which really is a subset of power, and when they intersect, it creates perceived invincibility. Power, security and invincibility mean the world to us, and a guy who encompasses all three is the guy we infinitely crave simply because they walk the talk.

Which brings me to wolf-boy Jacob. Shirtless, he is like a magnificent sculpture. Even if you don't want to stare, your eyes would make you.

We girls are into fitness, too, and if you look that good, well, damn! Here's the thing about Jacob, though — he is too cocky. He fights, I mean literally fights, to keep Bella safe by ripping off the heads of trespassing vampires and whatnot.

Jacob is awesome and sweet, too, but he doesn't give Bella the rush that she craves, that every girl craves. Jacob literally begs Bella to stay with him.

Edward doesn't, and Bella chases him for all of "New Moon". I fear Jacob makes it too easy — and he obviously goes about it the wrong way. Talk about being an idiot about it.

In "Eclipse," Jacob sends Bella on a guilt trip just to trick her into kissing him. Pathetic wolf-boy. Watching the movie, he presents himself as the logical choice (like he means to say "You KNOW I'm better than him"), but come on, girls, the majority, if not all of us, are anything but logical.

Embrace it. That's why many of us are on Team Edward, yeh, there are teams now. Which side are you on, Team Edward or Team Jacob?

If you're undecided, you should read that proposal scene in "Eclipse." The movie's version was awesome, too, but the book's version is a hit for six!

You will lose control of your breathing and get pretty close to hyperventilating just absorbing that one scene. It was perfection. No one EVER gets proposed to like that. Sigh. We wish, I know... I know.

Well, whichever one you choose, Jacob and Edward have one thing in common: They both look at Bella as though she is the only girl in the world for them. Every girl, whether you play it macho like Jacob or live on the edge of danger like Edward, wants to be looked at with the same intensity and longing.

We want the guys in our lives to need us as though not having us would destroy them. Why do you think most of us live on Harley Quinn and Mills and Boon?

I say all this to say there is a reason why girls faint in a crowd at the sight of Robert Pattinson. It's not because he is R Patz, it's because girls just want him to look at them the way he looks at Bella. Wolf boy, too. Clearly, you can see who I've chosen. Sadly,

I am still stuck in my dilemma.

Should I read the book, or wait for the movie?

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