I ain’t go lie fellas, first time I try to tell ah girl that I liked her, I thought I pee myself, fuss my hands was sweating. I was so nervous, my two knee was giving each other high five.

And meh heart. Oh boy. It was so much palpitations, my pardners start calling meh Palpito inno.

Fellas, ah man body does go through all kinda chemical and biological thing when approaching girls on that first day.

Try to wiggle you toes and you will realize yuh ears twitching. Somehow yuh kneecap does end up in yuh throat, so when you try to utter those first words, all that comes out is air.

Yes, lads, those were my early days in form 2. My sweetheart was a chick from El Do Brown name Jizelle. Oh gorm, she was bess. Dat shorty was so hot I had to wear sunblock whenever we meet up.

But like a young warrior, (sniff*sniff) I soldiered on. I was down but not out (*sniff*). I fought those nerves lads. I overcame.

I got experience over the years and I wrote everything down in a journal. And daz how today I am the repository of all knowledge when it comes to these secondary school chicks. In other words, fellas. Ah know dem gud.

And the most important ting I know about pretty girls is that by and large, they expect the guy to make the first move. Daz you muh boy.

Yes guys. Girls expect YOU to make the first move. And if you follow my advice it’s really not that hard.

The rule of thumb is this: A pretty girl is ten times prettier the day you tell her you like her for the first time.

Ah mean, understand wha ah saying. Can you imagine a pretty girl like Zen Paul from South East, PoS ten times prettier?

Fellas, if dem girls get any cuter, dey go be q-tips.

Like my pal from www.demgirlsbess.com likes to say, “The most important play is that first day.”

Let me prove my point. Look at this equation and see if you can solve “Y”:

E=MCHammerX(Facebook)/Wine-to-de-Wine-to-de-Wine-to-de=Y

Nicely done muh boy. I know rel men solve that equation in 5 minutes flat and yet, for some reason that escapes human understanding, they are incapable of making the first step to let a girl know they like her.

One fella from Naparima College named Nicholas Mohammed tell meh he figure out all the programming code for Facebook but he say Love Doc, ah still not sure ah understand how to make that fuss move inno.

Aite, first thing you have to do: Watch epic movies like Braveheart and 300. Fellas, I did it and ah telling allyuh it does work.

You see the reason you have to look at these flicks is to get some menspiration. Daz inspiration for men nah. It eh have nothing to do with perspiration though.

These movies depict men of substance who overcame evil. Men of valor who fought for the people. Men who knew how to serve the people, serve the people, serve the people.

Don’t eat no popcorn to distract yuhself when yuh watching these movies and rest assured while you’re watching, your body will start to secrete the required man-up hormones. You will need them when you approach that chick.

Now it’s important for guys to make that first move because for the most part, it says a lot to girls.

It tells them that you’re up for the challenge and you’re willing to take a risk for them.

I have heard so many secondary school chicks complain about those fellas who just “hold it dong” never getting up the courage to express their feelings.

Rightly so, the ladies are frustrated.

On the other extreme, are those obnoxious dudes who doh know dey place and feel dem is God’s gift to the Ministry of Education.

Now for the battle plan. It’s simple math dudes. A full 99% of the time you need to make her laugh.

Forget about pickup lines. They don’t work most of the time. But you’ve got to make her laugh. Is she in your lessons class? Then you have to get her attention with something funny.

Scribble something down and pass it to her. Like Simeon Moore from Benedict’s. One time, he gave ah chick from Convent, Sando a piece of paper with this line on it:

Why did the boy throw butter out the window? To see a butterfly

Smooth. I like it.

When a girl is stressed out with IAs and SBAs don’t you think she’ll appreciate something on the funny side? Trust me dan, she will.

Next important thing is to take your time. Move in slow. You don’t want to start talking about that L word at this stage of the game. Nah. This part is called Make Her Laugh.

Once she’s comfortable with you, and you guys become friends, then it’s time to put in ah gear.

Be warned lads, for some reason the day you decide to pour your heart out to a chick, is dat day self the chick go be looking bess.

Yuh tell yuhself today I will tell Shanice how I really feel when we meet up by the Library.

Watch Braveheart. Check.

Look bess. Check.

Smell right. Check.

Funny line ready. Check.

And after all that intense preparation, Shanice shows up with her hair down, framing her face, just the way you love it.

May God be with you lad.

I’ve been there and I know what you’re dealing with.

Just remember to breathe fellas. Get this right and muh boy, dat girl go be all over yuh like de Interchange.

Doh be like Jason from Northeastern College. De man went to tell ah chick his feelings for her and instead a watching Braveheart, he spend whole night watching The Social Network.

Show up in Arima, by the taxi stand and walk up to the girl limin with she frens and say, “Er, um, Reynela, um, ah rel like yuh inno..”

Hmmm. SMH …. my God. You try to work with these fellas but hmmm.

Yuh know Reynela watch de man and bawl, “You LIKE me? I look like ah page on Facebook or something? Steups.”

The world lost a potential relationship dat day right there on the Arima taxi stand. Just sad.

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