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How do I get her to go out with me? The most important question in ah fella life after “How do I get my parents to let me go out with her?”
Yet so many of you guys trip up when it comes to knowing when to make your move and when you should, er, steer clear of the target, so to speak.
Ah mean lads, yuh go notice de lil exasperation in my tone this month cuz is like, what allyuh fellas want me to do again boy?
How many times do I have to say hold some strain before you start making demands on target girl’s time? Sighs.
I’ll try just one more time, because deep down, ah here for allyuh and ah want to see ah fella finally land that Movietowne flick with dat chick from Rio Claro West.
Ah mean it go take yuh two days to reach Movietowne PoS from Rio Claro, bess yuh watch Law and Order, but the point is, muh heart good inno.
De ting rel simple: talk first, stalk later.
Muh boy, girls are like traffic, move too early and yuh won’t get any.
You telling me you now meet ah girl in lessons Monday and you calling de girl phone 12 times Tuesday night?
De only people I know does do dem ting is de PNM during ah election.
What will she think of you lad? I’ll tell you what she’ll think.
STALKER.
Yep.
You went from being a decent, respectable prefect of St. Stephen’s College one day to Ted Bundy the next.
Um, fellas, girls are simply better at waiting. Especially dem south chicks who live close to de sea.
Dem girls who grow up in south went fishing plenty with dey father when dey was small. And fishing is a patience game. Throw ah net, wait for fishy.
Fishy doh bite, read ah book, drift to Venezuela, duck two pirate, finish de book.
How yuh think Naps girls win so much scholarship? Fisherman father, plenty reading on de boat.
So dem south chicks understand that the relationship have to evolve naturally. And that takes time.
So yuh asking Love Doc, how much time should I give ah new relationship before I start ‘stalking’?
Hmmm, good question lad. But that is not something you can pin down just like that. It all depends on the girl you’re after. What you absolutely must do is pay close attention to the signs.
Like, is she usually the one to msg you on Facebook?
When you chat with her online, have you noticed if her replies are longer, more wordy than yours? Or is she fairly monosyllabic, giving you one-word or short, direct responses?
All dem ting important inno. Doh get tie up with these girls fellas, this is ah science. But get this, to pass this science, yuh English ha to be in tip-top shape.
In other words, yuh have to learn to talk.
Just met her? Nice, now will yourself to not ask her out for the first 3 weeks.
Trust me, if ah girl likes you, she cyah wait three weeks and not see you. If yuh see week number 5 and she not hinting about meeting up, she done dump yuh in she spirit ah ready.
Yeh, daz when ah girl done make up she mind that not even the Holy Spirit could get she to go out with you, fuss yuh annoying.
Time to move on. Yuh failed miserably son.
Right, so I’m saying, in this initial phase, when you just meet her, you want to apply the KISS principle. KISS: Keep It Simple Stupid.
You want to keep the relationship digital as far as possible. Ah lil facebook, add three or four text messages a week, throw in ah email every now and again.
Nothing more until you’ve crossed the three-week mark.
So what should you talk about?
Glad you asked lads. You need to make most of the conversations about HER.
Why?
Easy. Girls are full of themselves. They’ll never admit it fellas, but they love to talk about themselves, so go ahead, make her day.
Talk about her likes, hobbies, stuff she’s into. Talk about her school, her friends. Yep. Just make it about her mostly. If she likes you she’ll keep coming at you with questions of her own and once you hold out the three weeks, she will be getting frustrated.
Now, fellas, rel important. Make sure in all dat talk that you keep dropping hints about your interest in her.
In other words, she should know for sure you like her and want her. Then you pull back and act as though you’re good friends with Halle Berry and you’re used to being around pretty chicks.
Sit down.
Yes, I want you guys to sit down for this one.
Whatever you do…do NOT tell her how pretty she is or keep mentioning her awesome good looks.
Do that it’s all over for you lad. Pretty chicks have heard those lines before so you got to do something different— IGNORE THE VANITY-STRICKEN FEMALE.
Keep dem convos going for about three weeks and make them about her interests lads then, watch my magic work in your otherwise unglamorous relationship lives.
She’ll be beside herself with excitement to FINALLY go out with you and if you do it my way you’re guaranteed a successful relationship.
How do I know for sure?
Cuz by this time she’s not only dying to go out with you, but she trusts you muh boy.
Reminds me of Peter from Signal Hill Senior Comp who take my advice and follow it to the letter.
After just 4 weeks, the chick he was tracking from Cedros Composite was all over he like ah ceiling yes.
De girl swim to Tobago from Cedros to meet Peter inno.
Daz rel love.
Seriously fellas, calling any girl 12 times is no joke.
I know one girl who only using payphone now over dat same ting.
De other day I see de girl on the promenade lean up in ah phone booth trying to send ah text.
Ah say girl yuh cyah send text from dem phone inno.
Girl say she doh care, she not going back to dat BlackBerry Bold after Marcelus from CIC call her 14 times in one night.
And yuh kno waz sad, ah bounce up Marcelus and ask him how he could do something like dat and de man tell me he thought she had ah BlackBerry Boldface inno. So he keep calling.
Is ah patience game lads. Take some time, give the chick some breathing room. Then like yuhself. Ah gone.
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