Don't become her best male girlfriend

Gentlemen. Let's broaden our minds. About those chicks who are insanely good at making you their best male girlfriend or, as I call it, their BFF (boy on feminine frequency) Yep. You just had to fall for it didn't you? You didn't take my advice when I told you some girls just don't want you to be their boyfriend.

They're only looking for a girlfriend and sometimes the best girlfriends have ah one-level with ah tight mark and they back hard like bone. Why did you fall for it lad?

Lemme break it down one more time for you guys.

Fellas, she will happily give you her number. And you will be smiling even though Arsenal lorse because as far as you're concerned her number will make up for the sadness. Bam. She call yuh outta nowhere. So you do what most guys do.

You assume that it's because she likes you. Um, no muh boy. Dat girl only bored outta she mind and ha nothing to do. How you does feel knowing ah chick call you cuz she eh ha nothing better to do? Boy daz ah diss.

I personally hear dem girls from 'Puna Sec laughing at a man for dat on de bus route in Macoya waiting for maxi. De girl and dem say dey give de man ah "Here boy". Yuh know what is a "Here boy".

Daz when yuh calling a dog for some bite up bone from Sunday lunch. Fus yuh trying to teef de dog head, first thing yuh have to say is "Here boy" so he go come. Den is level Sunday bone for dat dog. Quite Thursday evening too.

Lad, you pose off on de phone like yuh dream girl calling yuh. Walking outside with de phone and ting cuz yuh ain't want nobody to see yuh blush. When all dat time is ah "Here boy" yuh get and yuh ain't know it.

Don't believe me? OK. So how do you explain her always leading you on? Make no mistake lads, you are still NOT her boyfriend. Just try anything see if she doesn't punch you in the throat. I repeat you are NOT her boyfriend. You're only there to keep her company as any one of her bess girlfriends do from time to time.

And when her girls aren't available for one reason or the other. Well, that's where you come in.

Let me tell you what usually happens. Ah fella will like this chick. He may or may not make his feelings known. Since she's only interested in making you one of her girls, she will give you her number. You'll hang out every once in a while but, take note, only happens when she wants to hang out.

And all the while Mr. Man will be getting hooked on her. He's liking her more and more and more. Thinking. Hoping. Hoping that if he can just ALWAYS do what SHE wants, she will come to see the light. That he is, indeed, the man for her.

Steups.

Faddah you drinking too much Coke Zero yes, cuz your brain eh hav nothing in it lad. Wake up and smell de Milo man.

Fellas, work with me here. Girls like dat are really men on the inside. Serious.

If dem girls learn how to say the word "fah-mah-laay" and get some swag, dem go be level playaz.

They won't admit it lads but NEWSFLASH - some chicks are nuttin' but PWP (Playaz With Purses).

They do the same thing they accuse us of but they're smooth with it. And if yuh not smart you might mistake her calls, her invitations for INTEREST. It is not there. She not on yuh jed.

-"What yuh doing this Saturday? Yuh want to go Zen with meh?" Yuh gone.

-"What yuh doing this evening? An wanted to see Avatar." Yuh gone.

-"Hey, babe, what's up? You know if de correct timetable out yet?" Yuh turn into her Personal Assistant and you making calls, searching Facebook to find out on her behalf.

Sometimes, what they want from you is your opinion-all the time.

-"What you think about that IA boy?" And yuh deya.

Careful lads. They are Playaz with Purses and they like company. When they call you why does it always have to be on their terms?

Try calling her see if she doesn't tell you she's sleeping and give yuh ah yawn-click-gone.

Remember your lines dude.

Bff means Boy of Feminine Frequency

Bff means Boy of Feminine Frequency

Bff means Boy of Feminine Frequency

Sometimes you have got to dig deep guys and be a man. Even when she calls with that sweet, sexy voice. (God daz pressure).

Even when she invites you out and, oh Lord, yuh know in yuh Know-er dat de girl go be looking bess. (Have mercy dear Lord).

Even when she says the M-word: Movie and yuh know is just de two ah allyuh in Avatar.

(Amen, Hallelujah, Thank you Jesus for seeing dis chick in 3-D. Chantel from 'Puna Sec ... I SEE YOU.)

Yeh fellas, ah know it tuff but my advice is yuh have to find a way to say NO.

When you do, know this: she not calling yuh again jed. You've stood up to her and "hurt her feelings." She has no choice but to move on to de next unsuspecting hero.

Buh at least yuh go know dat yuh din let no pretty smurf use you good then leave yuh out for ah next dude.

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